It has been 5 years since I was admitted into hospital and during that time, my mental health journey has been a rollercoaster. I was discharged from hospital in December 2012 just before Christmas, in 2013 I battled with severe self-harm and suicide, at the start of 2014 I relapsed back into anorexia, a few months later I was threatened to be admitted into hospital again, in 2015 I began to put back on weight, and it wasn’t until 2016 that I started to get back on track again. I went through countless amounts of anti-psychotics and anti-depressants, tried out all types of therapies and had a myriad of therapists.
To make matters worse I had to try and cope with all of this whilst trying to live a ‘normal’ life of completing my GCSE’s, moving schools, making new friends, doing A-Levels and all the teenage drama that comes with it.
The past few years have been tough and nowhere near plain sailing but they have helped shape me into the person I am today. Each day I’m learning how to be at peace with myself just that little bit more, and though I don’t think I will ever come to “like” my body, I am learning to accept it for what it is. I am learning to be grateful for the ability to breath, walk, jump and dance – learning to be grateful to just HAVE a functioning body.
I still have a long way to go in terms of being happy with who I am and I don’t know if I will ever escape the claws of mental illness; but these 5 years have made me a stronger, more confident and headstrong young woman, and I’m looking forward to what the future holds.