It Will Be Okay

The thing about heartbreak, is that it actually feels like your heart is breaking. It’s like a part of your life and future has completely vanished, and you are left with a void that feels too big to even contemplate filling. Time moves so slowly, and it feels like the tears will never stop. The pang in your chest feels so real, yet you know there’s nothing you can do to stop the pain. But pain is temporary, and soon, it will start to fade away.

Over the past couple of weeks, I definitely started to question who I was as a person. Whether I’m a bad person. Whether I’m worthy of love. Whether I’m too much. But the reality is, I’m not too much. You will never be too much for the right person.

I’m currently reading a book called Conversations on Love by Natasha Lunn (an incredible book so far would highly recommend), and in it she interviews Philippa Perry who says, “What makes a satisfactory coupling is not thinking, he or she is right for me, from the start. Nobody is right for anyone. Actually, what makes somebody right is commitment… It’s like two stones rubbing together until suddenly they fit…” I found this interesting and profound to which Natasha sums up perfectly, “When you want to change to keep a partner interested, that’s ‘adaption’, which is bad because you’re bending your identity to please another. Whereas when you change alongside another person, that’s ‘mutual impact’, because you’re not putting on an act to please anyone. Instead, you’re growing, individually and together.”

I will be the first person to say that I am not perfect. Far from it. I have flaws, I can say the wrong thing, and I don’t always get it right. But I also know that I am a good person. I have good intentions and I love fully and wholeheartedly. And if someone doesn’t want that, then that is their loss and not mine.

I think people show their true colours in difficult situations, and sometimes that person isn’t who we thought they were. And as difficult and upsetting as that can be, it helps us to see that this was probably for the best. Even a blessing in disguise. They say that some people come into your life just to teach you how to let go. And maybe that’s true. That some people are just a chapter in the story of your life. Do not try to force someone to be in your life who doesn’t want to be. You should never have to beg for love. The right person will come along and you won’t have to prove your worth because he or she will recognise it.

Time is one of the greatest healers, and unfortunately or fortunately, there is nothing we can do to speed that along. So do whatever you need to do to heal yourself fully. Honour the grieving. The loss of a partner, best friend and future together. Take time off work, go to therapy, journal, read books. Surround yourself with people who see the good in you and bring out the best in you. Who love you for who you are.

Although I feel a bit lost and broken right now, I know that this is just another bump in the road. That I have overcome so many things in my life already, and this is just another hurdle to get over. To anyone else going through a difficult time, please treat yourself kindly, surround yourself with people you love, and know that it will be okay.